my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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