I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
