mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
