Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
