How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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