Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
