...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
