I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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