plz talk dirty to me
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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