Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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