I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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