Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
