I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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