you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
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I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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