so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
