Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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