at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
