Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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