Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I can't turn off my feet"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
