is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You're like the curious george of whores
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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