There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
