At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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