bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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