Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
