I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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