you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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