this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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