it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
