Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
