I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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