you guys were way drunker than both of me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
