I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
