I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
