i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i think my cat just said my name.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
