I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
