I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize