And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
