Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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