Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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