I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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