Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.