what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.