idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa