boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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