i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Randomize
