How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize