She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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