as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
