New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
