So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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