Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
