Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Im part way to drunk.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
