problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
