You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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