What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
