At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I pour the whiskey from now on
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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