So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
