I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize