he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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