Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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