I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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