Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
