what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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