The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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