You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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