i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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