Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
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I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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