If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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