Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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