got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
