Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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