I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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